STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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