Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
