he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
