Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
