i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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