hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
