I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
