Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He has the fingertips of a God
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
