Acid is not a monday night drug
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
