after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
