so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
