Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
