She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Two words: nipple clamps
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