I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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