I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
