I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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