problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize