Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
