so explain again why im purple
no
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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