Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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