her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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