I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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