I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
