Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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