I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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