Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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