Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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