Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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