K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Who died my cat blue again?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
