are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's rum buckets o'clock
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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