It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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