We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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