he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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