living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Someone came in the potted fern
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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