The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He passed out mid-signature
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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