I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
