Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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