I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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