my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
