I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
