i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
