The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
