are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
