This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize