we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
