so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
