Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
