what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Come see our sink grown plant.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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