The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
