I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
