If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
