Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
