turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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