you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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