it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I had to cum in my sink.
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