"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
