Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
