I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
