we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
