well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
