I just made out with a guy for $7.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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